1. college is the best time of your life. when else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
1. of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.
3. a professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
4. as long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
5. the things taught in colleges are not an education, but the means to an education.
6. never get married in college：it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
7. education is not preparation for life, education is life itself.
8. the university brings out all abilities, including incapability.
9. the chief value in going to college is that it's the only way to learn it really doesn't matter.
10. 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.
11. to those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, i say well done. and to the c students, i say you too may one day be president of the united states."